The Celebritus Americanus (or American celebrity) is a creature hunted, studied, dissected and eventually discarded. e-Travel Blackboard dons their safari gear and joins experienced trackers, TMZ, on a tour through the wilds of Hollywood to spot these, sometimes illusive, creatures in their ‘natural’ environment.
Often thought to be nocturnal, the Celebritus Americanus, drawn by hunger (or Valentino), will occasionally make the dangerous journey into daylight. Harangued by paparazzi, they have adapted camouflage techniques (the covering of faces with open fingers, dating a Kardashian) in the hope of going about their everyday lives (dating a Kardashian) undetected.
Like avid bird watchers the paparazzi stalk their prey and have, at the ready, a steady slew of celebrity-spotting tools. Join e-Travel Blackbird on the TMZ Hollywood Tour to learn their secrets.
Preparing for the hunt
Nothing scares away the Celebritus Americanus like an empty room, so try and travel in packs. The TMZ Hollywood Tour is the perfect rent-a-crowd, drawing the D-Z list Celebritus Americanus’ to its bright red doors. Shaq, I’m talking to you.
Safari suit up
It’s important to blend into your surrounds; in the case of celebrity-ridden Hollywood this means showing some skin (preferably professionally bronzed at Sunset Tan). Add some heels (because the only walking done is from the valet to your Hummer) and you’re set.
Contrary to popular opinion, the Celebritus Americanus does eat. The TMZ Hollywood Tour takes you past their preferred watering holes and expensive eateries so that should you not see a celebrity while on the TMZ Tour you can always stalk them later.
The Big Five
Those Celebritus Americanus bred in captivity (Kardashians and those dating them) are perhaps the easiest to spot. Tick them off your list in order of popularity for extra points.
All images courtesy of Starline Tours.
e-Travel Blackboard traveled to Los Angeles care of Visit West Hollywood and Universal Studios Hollywood. For more information, visit: